A Year Without My Mom

So at pretty much this exact moment, one year ago,  I was standing in a bright hallway in srmc holding on as tight as I could to my wife, bawling uncontrollably as my heart crumbled. Danyelle had pulled me aside and told me my mom was gone privately before the doctor came in and callously shared the news ( I don’t know how, didn’t know it was possible, but how danyelle guarded my heart, and held me together, it made me love her more than I did before. Didn’t know it was possible, but it happened.)It wasn’t the 16, but it was the third Sunday in October, great marshes homecoming day. That day I had eaten lunch at Shogun with Heath McNease, Playdough, Manchild, Rachel Johnson, and Vincent Stephens. Once my girls were in bed I sat down to watch football. Around 11:30pm the night of October 17^th my aunt myrtle called me to tell me to go the hospital, mom had had a heart attack. I knew she was gone before I even hung up the phone. They called her time/date of death on the 18^th, but she really died on the 17^th. That night Danyelle was working, I was sitting in my recliner watching a football game with the colts and someone else. I felt the weight of her loss crushing my chest before I knew it to be fact. I got showered, dressed, and drove to the hospital, and the rest you know. I had seen my mom the day before. I had just performed Aaron Hillburn/Martin’s wedding, and stopped by to visit my mom.  I came in my suit, bear hugged my mom, and sat on her kitchen counter like a little kid, just like I had been doing my whole life. We talked for maybe 15 minutes. That was my last memory of my mom. Everything that happened afterwards was a whirl-wind of pain, and surviving on the grace of God and the compassion of people who loved me. I spent hours sorting through papers for an insurance policy that didn’t exist, trying to figure out what in the world I was supposed to do now, and just doing my best not to fall apart. The thought of trying to explain to Rosa that grandma  was gone and she wouldn’t see her anymore literally destroyed me. I sat there crying trying to lovingly explain to a joyful child why she wouldn’t see her grandma, she understood surprisingly well. In fact her frequent statements in the months that followed like “Grandma Jeanette is in Heaven” or  “Jesus took her hurt away” were both comforting and crushing. My heart was so heavy and so full that I didn’t want to sleep that night. My wife was a constant source of strength for me. 2 of the other things that really helped me were the movie “Elizabethtown” and it’s soundtrack, and then somewhere in the weak Heath McNease texted me and told me he wrote a song for what I was going through, and surprisingly enough it helped me process what I was feeling better than I could have ever hoped. It’s a song called “Selah” on his “The house always wins” album (I’ll put a link in the comments). I’m not gonna list all the friends that came to my aid, but I know who you are and I thank you. Somewhere in this experience I got the bright idea to preach my mom’s funeral, felt like the dumbest idea I ever had, but at the same time I felt like no one else had the right to. I loved my mom like no one else, I did my best to pour into her spiritually over the years, I lead her to Christ, I baptized her, I watched her grow in church, she ministered with me at camp grace and countless elementary schools. No one else was gonna do it. I think one of the things that was hardest for me that day was seeing Danyelle break. Right before we walked in the door for the service she grabbed me outside the church and let go, I know my mom wasn’t perfect but she was a good mom to Dan, and I hadn’t even took time to consider what a loss it may be to her.I picked “The Shelter” off Jars of Clay’s album of the same title (which wasn’t even out yet, got it with an advance order” to be played at the service. I love that song, but to this day I tear up every time I even here one note of it. I managed to preach my mom’s funeral, and I don’t remember a lot of what I said or how it went, but I’m told it went well. In the comic book “Identity Crisis” a superhero named “Elongated Man” goes up to speak at his wife’s funeral and literally looses the ability to hold himself together. I picture that’s what how I felt looked like. After the burial we came back and ate, and I remember this really peaceful moment where my kids, and my cousins kids, and all these little ones played in the church playground. Past that, it’s been hard, I don’t know how many times I reached for my phone to call or text my mom about something, only to stop mid dial when it hit me. How much I just wanted to hear her voice. How much I see her in bella’s face. How the little things remind me of her. I think that marked the day that I truly felt mortal, like I know my life is gonna end here on earth. It felt like a part of my soul was gone, that the innocence was out the window and I was faced with the cold truth. I’ve felt so alone at times since then. I have great friends, amazing family, lots of support, but I don’t have my mom. My dad’s condition doesn’t allow him to be there so I truly feel like an orphan. I didn’t lose faith, or become bitter towards God or anything like that, I have complete hope and faith that when I stand before Christ, so will my mom, and I’ll see her there. I’m not gonna pretend to know more about heaven than the word of God states, but I hope in my heart that when she gets a glorified body, she’s still super short. I miss my mom. There’s been a steady ache in my heart for the last year, I don’t have an overall reason for typing this other than the fact I never really took the time to say this stuff out loud, I have no idea if I stopped moving long enough to grieve over my mother, I know that I love her, she’s gone for now, but I will see her again. Thanks for reading, thanks for caring.

-          Hector

In Other News, I Don't Know Everything

I don't have answers for everything. I'm not going to make dogmatic stances when I don't have a reason to. I'm not going to try and convince someone else I am more right than them. I am not going to act out of pride. I will continue to hold to the Bible because I believe it to be the truth, I know it is alive and active in my life, and I know that it is through Jesus Christ that I live and thrive. Because I align myself with Jesus, I know that puts me with odds with others who don't share my faith, who oppose my faith, and even people that "share my faith" but have very distinct views. This does put me at opposition with people, but it's not about me being against you, it's about me being for Jesus. I shared last week "‎"Christians" are supposed to be known by their love, not by the things they hate. So many "people of faith" put so much more time into the things they are against, than loving people that actually need love. If we are to be known by our love, and all we show is hate, then what we are showing the world is not Jesus, and that we are not his disciples, but disciples of our own piety". My goal is to follow the 2 greatest commands in God's Word, Love God, and Love others (I believe if you set that as priority, the rest falls into place). The rest is a work in progress, just because I believe life is in Christ, doesn't mean I know everything. Just as it's phrased in Philippians 2, I "continue to work out my salvation with fear and trembling". The more I study, the more I learn, the more I realize I know less and less. But I hold fast to the truth found in Jesus Christ. People expect since I’m a pastor that I know everything, but if you meet a pastor who knows everything, it's because he's stopped trying to find the truth, and is comfortable with thinking he knows it all. Pride and self sufficiency are like recliner, with your favorite jammas, and drink. You settle into it, and you can stay a long time, but you won't get much done. So if you want to go off on how my faith is silly, or think it's hateful, niece or foolish, that's your perspective, and if you want to talk about it, I’ll be glad to. If you think where I stand is in a place of bitterness, prejudice or hate, then I think you have a misguided view of where I stand, and would be glad to discuss with you. Keep in mind I’m saying discuss, not debate.  For all the other crazy things going on out there, I have no clue. Do I think the world will end on the 21st, nope, and in fact I hope it doesn’t? I want to see my girls grow up, I want to hike the Grand Canyon at Easter 2012, and I want to see the next batman movie in summer 2012. More importantly there are a lot of people I love that I think would be in a bad situation, should that occur. Then again I don't know everything."If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves" Galatians 6:3. I know this is less "Fluid" than my normal writings, but as I look at the world so polarized in opposition, I felt like I needed to say this to breathe. People are taking sides against things like 4th graders with Carolina and duke. They have no clue what they are fighting over, but they know they are against the other guy. I think we develop that mentality as children and just run with it through our adult lives. I think because we spend so much time focusing on what we oppose, it consumes us and we lose the joy of actually living life. 

Do Work

So this morning I was at the gym, there is a lady who comes to my cardio/strength training class every time I’m in there, but when she comes she doesn’t actually do the work. She’s in fairly good shape, no health issues; she just doesn’t actually do the work before her. When we are using weights, she doesn’t, when we squat, she bends, when we kick/lunge, she taps her toes, when we jump she just kind of sways. At the end of class when everyone else is sweaty and collapsing, she looks like she’s been doing office work. Now there’s no reason she can’t do that, no rule saying she has to actually put an effort forth. No one is going to rebuke her and call her a tourist. Here’s where the problem comes, she believes that continuing this action will yield the same results as all the other people who are literally working their butts off.

This sums up to me where a lot of people are in various points in their life, maybe they are in denial, confused, too prideful, or just oblivious. We feel like we have this sense of entitlement that we can get something we don’t work for, that we don’t earn. I’m all about Grace, I really am, I know that we live and thrive under a savior who makes it His plan/joy to give us things we don’t deserve. There is impracticality when we expect our daily lives to yield the same unmerited grace we get from Jesus.
This sense of entitlement carries over into all the areas of our lives. It pours into our faith, marriages, work ethic, children, into everything we do. We stand back and expect things to grow, mature, prosper and thrive in our lives, without the work.

When I was out of high school I spent several years working at Waldenbooks. I literally spent 80 percent of my time there leaning on the counter, reading comic books. I took pride in certain areas, but had no initiative. I did this knowing the results, I would get paid $7.25 an hour (12 years ago), and read free comics. I got exactly what I put into it. When promotions were offered, or more responsibility came about, I passed. That was my plan; I was only working there through college and while I raised missionary support. There are people that put that same effort into their lives, but expect more to come from it. People go from situation to situation in their life putting in minimal effort and coming up surprised by the result. Often said “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, while expecting a different result” If we don’t put more effort into our lives, how could we ever hope to get more out.

When you don’t put the proper preparation into things, the outcome can be disappointing. I have a race/obstacle course called “Rugged Maniac” coming up on April 9^th. It’s 3.1 miles with 14 navy seal obstacles. If I went into this thing without prepping for it, I would most likely keel over and die. Since January I’ve been steadily increasing my exercise routines, getting harder as I go along, I’ve begun attending training classes, running etc.  Staring Thursday I’m going to run a minimum of 2 miles a day and restrict my diet severely. All this is to say I want to finish this race, I want to do well, I don’t care about speed but I have desires for it, so I’m putting in the necessary work.

This same thing applies to your marriages, dating relationships. If you aren’t putting the necessary effort into a relationship, then it’s going to lacking for you and your significant other. Taking the time to get to know someone you are dating, invest in their family if you are serious, actually not only attend pre marital counseling but apply what you are taught, be faithful and loving apply Philippians 2:3 “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself” then watch the outcome of your relationship. You have to do the work to maintain a good relationship. I know I am a rookie parent, I know that I only have 4 years total parental experience, but the same applies. If you don’t do the work to enrich, nourish, and love your children. They suffer for it. I know you can be a fantastic parent and still have buck wild kids, but the fact is you can often see the difference in kids whose parents make an effort.

I’ve worked with students for a long time (99-to the present) and time and again I’ve seen students who fall short, not because their material is too advanced or difficult, but because they didn’t do the work. They get caught up in everything outside of the classroom to the point that education becomes a back burner concern. Then when they are collapsing from the pressure of impending failure they try to scurry to resolve it. Sometimes they skate by, but often times they fall flat.

If you feel like you don’t have any real friends, are you putting more into your friendships than social networking?

If you are saying to yourself “I’m just not getting anything out of church, or the bible” or “I don’t like my church”, what are you putting into it?

Honestly ask yourself “What are the areas in my life I am frustrated with?” Then ask yourself “What are the areas of my life I’d like to see improve?” Then ask yourself “How many of these areas am I honestly putting in all the effort that I can? I truly believe if we are making the effort to truly put the work into all these areas in our lives, we would see a noticeable improvement.

Colossians 3:23 states “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men” God commands us to work with all the effort we can, for him, not for men. That men also includes not working just for ourselves either. In every situation we approach we should put enough effort into it that we would be comfortable to present it to God

My drive and initiative greatly increased in my late teens/early twenties, largely in credit to Bobby Williams (director at camp grace). I was always a very “enthusiastic” worker, but I often had to be pointed out when something needed to be done, or I would only do minimal work (i.e. my previous Waldenbooks reference). Bobby really helped me recognize this and turn it around it me. I remember one day I was doing some form of yard work, and I was meandering around, and when I felt I had done enough I just hopped in my car and went home. I left his tools/weed eater/etc outside, no clean up. All the stuff got rained on and pretty messed up. We talked sometime after that and he really helped me focus.  Over the years of working in a small staffed ministry, or being in leadership, having drive and initiative became essential because if you didn’t do it, it simply didn’t get done. That is true overall for our lives, we have to take the responsibility and initiative to bring progress into our lives. Not saying God doesn’t have a hand in it, but if we aren’t putting the effort he guides us to, why should we expect a different result?

When I wasn’t satisfied with my education level I re-enrolled in college during my spare time, when I felt like I wasn’t a good enough husband I stepped my game up, when I felt I was unhealthy I changed my habits, I know that God gets all credit for it, but if I just sat by idle and waited for God to do this stuff in me, I’d still be in the same spot or worse.

If there is an area in your life (love , romance, family, college, church, education, fitness, etc) that you are just unsatisfied, discontent, unhappy, or unfulfilled in what you are getting, you should really ask yourself what you are giving.

"It burned me from within. It quickened; I was with book, as a woman is with child" - C.S. Lewis

45 Seconds of Cute

The Practicality of Prayer

Prayer

You ever have those friends that you care about, but you never make the effort to talk to them, and neither do they, so you basically just grow apart. That’s essentially what happens with God, we love Him (at least we say we do, and try to convince ourselves we do even if we don’t), but we neglect to speak to Him because there are so many “Tangible” things in front of us that we rarely even give Him thought. Where that analogy falls short though is that unlike some lack luster friendships, God never ceases to reach out to us. We just aren’t paying attention. It’s like we’ve put God on “silent”. God tells us that the very world we live in, the planet we reside on “Declares” His glory.

 Numbers 14:21
Nevertheless, as surely as I live and as surely as the glory of the LORD fills the whole earth,

 Psalm 19:1
The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. He gives us His written word, and even speaks to us through His spirit and messengers. Our lack of communication with our creator is simply negligent.

Our level of prayer truly summarizes the “reality” of our God to us personally. How many of our friendships would grow and survive if we spoke to them with the same frequency and authenticity that we speak to God. How many relationships would grow, or end at our current level of communication? We become so comfortable with our “relationship” with Christ being more like a “cause” it’s something we believe in, it’s morals we abide by, standards we live up to, things we abstain from. It becomes more of a guiding light than a relationship with a Creator/Savior. It becomes a (wait for it)…… religion. The difference between our faith and the belief system of others is that we serve a living and active God. But if we honestly look into our lives, you wouldn’t be able to tell that.

Ask yourselves do you truly believe what you say you believe. Do you believe you have access to a living, omnipotent, and loving God, a selfless compassionate savior? Do you honestly believe it? Say it out loud “I believe I have access to a living, omnipotent,  and loving God, a selfless compassionate savior “ If this is a reality to you, you have no choice but to interact with Him.

You ever met someone that could “give you a hook up”, someone that “knew a guy” that could get things accomplished that you couldn’t. At an amusement center In hopemills, Berea’s youth group, and another churches youth group decided to hang out together for the evening. The other church arrived first. When they went to pay, they found that their price was drastically increased from the price I had been given. I went up to the counter when I arrived, and as soon as the guy saw me he said “oh, their with you? Ok they can have that price.” We use people with connections all the time, we strategically approach certain people in certain ways because we know who we approach and how they are approached will drastically effect the outcome. We do this with the people in our social network, but we neglect to approach the God of all creation with our needs.

James 4:2-3 You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. ³ When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures

James 1:6 ⁶ But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. ⁷ That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. ⁸ Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.

The simple fact is when we face needs we tend to either ignore God, Ask God for the wrong reasons, or ask but not really believe we will receive what we ask for. I can be stern with Rosa, but the simple fact is, if my daughter truly looks at me and asks me for something she needs, or even desires within reason. Every fiber in me longs to give it to her. How much greater a father is God, than me?

Luke 11:  ⁹ “So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. ¹⁰ For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

   ¹¹ “Which of you fathers, if your son asks for^[f] a fish, will give him a snake instead? ¹² Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? ¹³ If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

If you believe these things to be true, why on earth would you suffer? Why would you struggle through problems alone? Why would you face the constant disappointment of relying on others only to be let down? Hellloooooo Think MCFLY!

Prayer is only impractical because we make it impractical. There is an omniscient, omnipresent, omni powerful God who knows you by name, loves you like a father, wants a relationship with you and wants the best for you. Speak Up! Prayer is only as real and effective as you allow it to be. You are the one standing in the way of God doing amazing things in your life if you aren’t seeking after Him.

1 Thessalonians 5:17  pray without ceasing,

Like when you first fall in love and want to fall asleep on the phone, God desires constant communication with us. Not only does He want to communicate with us, He wants to provide for us, bless us, and take care of us.

Approach God with the confidence of knowing He wants to hear from you. Clear out the “Junk” that’s in your life that hinders your communication with God

Isaiah 59  ¹ Surely the arm of the LORD is not too short to save,  nor his ear too dull to hear. ² But your iniquities have separated
   you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you,  so that he will not hear

I won’t provide a “how to” on praying, or a handy dandy acronym on steps for prayer. He’s the creator and sustainer of life, He loves you and wants to talk with you. If you believe this to be true, then live it out.

"Born This Way"

Over the last decade “I was born this way” has been an anthem cry for many different culturesIt is a concept that obviously rings true with many, for understandable reasons. We all want to be loved, to be accepted, and we want people to love us exactly for who we are. We think “I am who I am, and I should be able to be free in that and not have to change for anyone.” We then take pride, and have great defense on our own personal identity. I question though, are we who we are at birth? Or are we shaped and molded? I think there are distinct characteristics of our identity that are shown right at birth, but I think a vast majority of who we are is shaped by where, how, and by whom we were brought up. The one thing I agree with about being “Born this way” is that we are all born broken.

Psalm 51:5 Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me.

I believe we are all born sinful, broken, and missing part of who we are. I know how volatile and inflammatory a statement this is to some, but the fact is I see it even in my own girls. Before Rosa could form whole sentences, she could lie. Before she could say her alphabet she could disobey. That sin nature is born into us, but I believe that we are children of God who knows we are broken, and has no desire to leave us that way. He wants us to come to Him, to be made complete.
When we say “I was born this way” and that’s our defense for our “individual identity”, it’s like saying “I am fine being broken, I have no need to be fixed or for redemption. I am proud of being broken, how dare you tell me I need to change.”

When someone is born with a life threatening illness or medical condition, how many parents do you hear say “Don’t you dare heal him, he was born that way”

Today more than anything you hear people use that as an excuse to shrug off responsibility for choices they make. Child Molesters, pedophiles, rapists, serial killers, etc. There are countless documented cases of people convicted of these offenses standing whole heartedly behind the statement “I was born this way”

Now, please take into consideration, I am a Christian Pastor, and what I’m saying is guided by Biblical principals, so of course if you don’t believe in the Bible this won’t mean a things to you, but let’s say for a minute though, hypothetically speaking, that you were born this certain way. Jesus tells us in no cloudy terms, to forget how we were born, and to follow how He is leading.

 Mark 8: 34 Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.35 For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it.

So if you are “Born this way”, Jesus tells us to Deny ourselves, to Deny who we were born as. In as much as the same way as we change citizenship of a country or a state. If you don’t really believe you were “Born this way”, and that you really are making your own choices, the same applies.

Guess what, I’m a married man. I love my wife and respect her, that being said I was born with a heart that somehow see’s fit to desire other women. This isn’t a marital development, this is something I’ve struggled with since I was 12 years old. I long for, and at times yearn for other women. Most married, honest men, would say that deep inside them, they feel the same way. I was “Born that way”, but that’s not what I pursue, that’s not how I live. I love my wife like the air I breathe, and I consciously desire and choose to keep myself only for her, but if I was going off of my “Born” instincts, then I wouldn’t. I “deny myself”.

I think I can be pretty witty, but often the “witty” things that are in my head are cutting, hurtful, tear others down, or don’t need to be said. But I was “born that way.” If I just let go and said every word that came out of my mouth, would a valid defense be “I was born that way?” The only people that get away with that are stand up comedians.

I think the fact is we need to be less concerned about what way we were born, because Jesus tells us regardless of we were born the first time we need to be born again.

John 3:3 Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again.” 4 “How can someone be born when they are old?” Nicodemus asked. “Surely they cannot enter a second time into their mother’s womb to be born!” 5 Jesus answered, “Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit. 6 Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit.

Jesus tells us that our first birth got us here, but everything we are in that first birth is perishing and we need a second birth.

1 Peter 1:21Through him you believe in God, who raised him from the dead and glorified him, and so your faith and hope are in God. 22 Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for each other, love one another deeply, from the heart.23For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God. 24For, “All people are like grass,    and all their glory is like the flowers of the field; the grass withers and the flowers fall, 25 but the word of the Lord endures forever.” And this is the word that was preached to you"

This is my take on it, we are born broken. We need to deny/forget what way we were born, and seek after Christ to be born again as 1 peter 1:23 states " For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God.”Through knowing Christ we can lose the broken nature of what was before, be born again in Christ and because we have been born again in Christ we stand before a Holy God able to say “I was born this way”

Duct Tape Mix

Donnie Testimony

Bounce House Shenanigans

Failing To Fail

So each year Lake Superior State University releases and banned word list. One of this year’s banned words was “Fail.” I know it’s become a popular term in youth/pop culture and over used, but simply put if no one fails at anything, then no one actually succeeds.

Today I had a couple epic failures, I miscalculated the weight capacity of a giant bean bag chair and instructed 3 adults(myself included) to drop down at once. Suddenly our den floor was covered in literally thousands of foam balls. This was after Danyelle had just spent the whole morning cleaning that room, and I was on the verge of walking out the door. Fail.

 Later I was walking on the shore at Myrtle beach, there was about an 18 inch drop off in the sand, we were climbing back up to head to the car, in the middle of a conversation. I stepped, my foot went straight through the sand and I slammed my thigh, ribs, and chest on a rock hard slab of cold sand. It knocked the wind out of me and left me sore, and I crumbled like a dead halo spartan. One of my friends laughed their head off so hard she couldn’t breathe, the other was concerned I had died.  Regardless I failed.

These are minor failures, barely even worth mentioning, but if we ignore the small fails, we will ignore the big ones. I’ve failed big time. I’ve broken my word, lied, hurt people I cared about, been less than the man I know I am, I’ve bitten off more than I could chew, openly rejected people, cared less than i should have, not been as faithful as i know i should be, been selfish, been to quiet when i needed to shout from the rooftops, been too loud when i needed to shut up, loved the wrong things, failed to love the truth, failed to plan ahead, planned ahead and executed poorly, and just outright failed a lot. The areas I fail in had really been some of the biggest weak and destructive points in my life. It’s so easy when you get knocked down(even if it’s your own fault) just to stay down. People’s pride prevents them from admitting failure, they feel like admitting the fact they are fallible means they are less of a person. To quote Elizabethtown, “Failure is simply the absence of success.”  When we admit our failures it means we can’t dwell on them, even better when we admit our failures we can learn from them. We learn what not to do the next time, we gain the experience to help other’s prevent themselves from failing equally. Most of my messages, or advice to people consists of (at least in part) my own failures, and what God has taught me from them. Over all I’m just feeling the fact that if we aren’t honest with ourselves when we fail, the we will continue to fail.



“think that failure has a purpose, and I don't believe it's chance if I fall. And I know that if I ever do fall, he will catch me. And if he ever lets me fall down, for the good of those who believe him, He will make me into a cannonball” - Five Iron Frenzy

2 Corinthians 12:⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰ That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

“I'm telling you, the best thing that could happen to anybody in this room, the best thing, is that your sin would be literally exposed on the 5 o'clock news. Your deepest darkest most embarrassing sin; the one you work the hardest to hide, would be broadcast on the 5 o'clock news. Best thing to happen to you, best thing that would ever happen to me. Because I am so weary, I am so tired of hiding my sin from people. Of deceiving people at who I really am, I'm tired of it. I just wish my sins would just be exposed, I wish there were huge screens that would just show you the truth about me, all the way down to my core. In order that you would know me for who I really was, in order that I could not, I didn't even have the option to hide from you anymore; in order that I would have nothing but Jesus to grasp onto. Because that's all I've got anyway, because the truth is, your sins have been exposed as if they were on the 5 o'clock news; they've been exposed to Jesus. He knows you better than you're willing to even admit to yourself. But He's forgiven you. Take joy in the fact not that your sins are not real; but that they are real and that your Savior is real.” – Derek Webb